Notorious THC is a strain I’d never heard of and probably won’t ever see again, but WOW! it was really impressive…for about an hour or so. It seems to be available to home growers in California and I searched lots of dispensaries in different states on leafly.com and weedmaps.com, but haven’t found it in commercial distribution anywhere. Perhaps it’s too difficult to grow or low yielding and commercial growers don’t want to fool with it. I wish it was available commercially as I don’t have the room or place where I can grow my cannabis.
At first, it was wonderful and then it was… I’m not sure. I’m not going to score this strain for a lot of reasons which you can read below, but I will describe the strain using our 100 point 4-20s review method. Notorious THC had the makings of a superior strain until … I don’t know if the problems I encountered were because of the genetics of the strain or the way it was grown.
There seems to be some confusion at the breeder level about what Notorious THC actually is. One seed company calls it hybrid and another calls it indica. There is a feminized (likely to produce a female plant) version and there’s an auto-flowering version that flowers after “x” number of weeks. The auto-flowering version is a bit disconcerting to me because in order to be ‘auto-flowering’, it has to have some cannabis ruderalis genes in it’s genetic makeup. Ruderalis is considered an ‘auto flowering’ plant as it blooms after a certain number of weeks, no matter how many hours of light the plant gets every day. Cannabis ruderalis, while it has some THC, is not a plant we look for when trying to consume the best bud possible.
Notorious THC – Appearance
There was nothing distinguishing about the way this strain looked pretty green buds with few stigma on them. It wasn’t particularly frosty, which is not necessarily an indication of quality.
Notorious THC – Aroma
Tangy. That was the first thing that came to mind. Tangy and somewhat ‘skunky’. Then there was a green, almost chlorophyll aroma and taste that can be a hallmark of homegrown weed that hasn’t been cured properly. The overall aroma after the green smell was pleasant with some skunkiness and that almost citrus tang which is probably from limonene, a terpene that’s pretty common in cannabis flower. Limonene smells like uh, lemons!
Notorious THC – Taste
Surprisingly, it tasted much like it smelled. It was a bit harsh and green tasting, which I attributed to the growers lack of knowledge to cure the plant properly. This problem isn’t limited to home growers. Big commercial production facilities, whether indoor or outdoor, sometimes have issues with their cure. It absolutely affects the taste and smoothness of the smoke. The ash from this strain was very dark, which is another indicator of a poor cure.
Notorious THC – Effect
Here’s where Notorious THC got tricky. About 5 or so minutes after I consumed it, there was a very airy and open effect that had a lot of clarity. LOVED IT! The very open/creative feeling lasted for at least an hour. This sort of effect was contradictory to the breeder’s claim that Notorious THC is indica. It was much more of a ‘sativa’ effect. So the sativa effect lasted for an hour or so. Then it changed…for the worse. I got a bit nauseated. The effect got a bit overpowering and then I got a massive headache. This was after only two tokes. The next morning I had a ‘hangover’ which I never get from cannabis. Maybe it was the alcohol, except I didn’t consume any alcohol that night. I’ve been loath to try the strain again.
Conclusion: Pitfalls of Home Growing
If I could have separated the first half of the effect from the second half, Notorious THC was terrific cannabis in the beginning. The second half was everything that cannabis shouldn’t be. I don’t know if it was me. I don’t know if it was Notorious THC. Perhaps it’s why it doesn’t appear to be commercially available anywhere in any cannabis legal state.
One other thing about the home grower; They may have used PGRs (plant growth regulators) without even knowing it as they were fertilizing their plants while they were growing. PGRs can have some strange effects on the flower and its terpenes, THC(s) and CBD(s) content and could potentially throw them out of balance. There’s no way to tell if they used PGRs and the grower may not have known it.
The strain also showed me that the whole of indica vs. sativa thing is a lot of hooey. One seed breeder calls it indica and another calls it hybrid. What is it actually? There has to be a better way to separate the different kinds of effects. One producer just labels their packages as energizing or relaxing. I DETEST prepacked cannabis. It’s dishonest. While I’m sure that many commercial operations who do prepackage their cannabis are honest, prepackaging somehow feels like they’re hiding something
Cannabis needs something akin to the taxonomy of wine. I don’t know what that might be, but I’m working on it.
Diamond strain cannabis is a new strain for me. This Diamond strain review features two cultivars; Grapes and Dust. Diamond Grapes, with it’s unique fruity qualities and smooth smoke earned a 91, while earthy and traditionally appealing Diamond Dust rated 81 on the Canniseur 100 point system. Diamond Grapes produced a good 45-minute burst of brainy energy, then settled into a pleasant body buzz, while Diamond Dust produced a relaxing indica-style body experience.
Diamond Strains: Appearance
Diamond Grapes consisted of a beautiful cone shaped bud with lots of sparkly pastel purple trichomes all over. It was loosely trimmed (which I like) and seemed well grown. The bud was pliant to the touch and rolled up a terrific joint. Loved the way it looked and felt.
Diamond Dust consisted of teensy little buds that were overly trimmed and were very tight, which leads me to believe the plants were grown with PGRs (plant growth regulators), while not necessarily bad in and of themselves can be harmful to human health if the wrong ones are used. They are not allowed at all in the EU, but in our unregulated markets (for cannabis) we have no control over this issue. They were also dry and crumbly. Too dry to roll up a good joint and not moist enough to smoke smoothly.
SCORES: Grapes 18 & Dust 10
Diamond Strain: Aroma
Diamond Grapes – This particular strain has a marvelously fruity aroma that, as it’s name suggests, is reminiscent of concord grapes (like Welch’s Grape Juice) and other fruits. I loved the aroma, but it did not have that rich scent that great cannabis seems to always possess. It could be a particular rare terpene is missing, and that doesn’t mean the bud isn’t good, it just means it that little something was missing.
Diamond Dust – This was much earthier. Unlike the Diamond Grapes cultivar, there was no fruity aroma. Since both cultivars were these are supposed to derive from the same lineage, I was surprised that there were no similarities at all in the scent. Dust was a much more traditional cannabis aroma. That’s not a bad thing and I really enjoyed smelling the different strains side by side.
SCORES: Grapes 18 & Dust 18
Diamond Strain: Taste
Diamond Grapes – There was a lot of fruit in the taste. It wasn’t grapey, but it was fruity (we recently wrote about five undeniably grape-flavored strains). The bud smoked smooth and was easy on my throat. The ash was white, which tells me it was well dried and cured. Drying and curing are two different things in flower production. This was well done for both things. Nice.
Diamond Dust – Much more “traditional” in its taste. The earthiness in the aroma came through in the taste. The smoke was a little more ragged on the throat, but not so much so that it was cough worthy. I couldn’t rate either of these higher than the other. Both were good.
SCORES: Grapes 17 & Dust 17
Diamond Strain: Effect
Diamond Grapes – The effect took about 3 or 4 minutes to start and was energizing at first. It created a very lightheaded feeling with focus. It was energizing for about ½ hour, then it got a bit more body oriented and began to make me sleepy. Diamond Grapes is supposed to be a hybrid and it’s a good hybrid in the sense that it had me thinking creatively. It was very focused for about 45 minutes when the body buzz started taking over from the brain buzz.
Diamond Dust – Very much more of an indica body buzz. Relaxing, This particular strain makes a good sleepy time addition to the Dosi Dos I use for sleep. WAY better than Ambien for sure. Other than a terrific sedative effect, Diamond Dust didn’t produce as much giggly fun time as Diamond Grapes.
SCORES: Grapes 18 & Dust 16
What strikes me as unusual, is the huge difference between these two strains. Although the parents are supposed to be at least 50% the same, the other parent seemed to be the dominant part of this cross. I liked both cultivars, but the Grapes was a lot more fun. It was also better grown, cured and trimmed as well. I do need to note that reviews I’ve now read about these Diamond cannabis strains say the Dust flowers were supposed to be light green and fluffy. These were hard unforgiving nugs that could have benefited from a little TLC. The Grapes variety demonstrates how much growing and curing make a difference when it comes to Diamond strains and cannabis in general.
TOTAL SCORES – Grapes 91 & Dust 81
An additional note on the packaging and handling of the bud: Both strains, Diamond Grapes and Diamond Dust were purchased at Ann Arbor dispensaries. Diamond Grapes was purchased from Arborside Compassion and Diamond Dust was purchased from Liberty Provisioning Center. Both dispensaries package their buds up in resealable plastic bags, which tends to dry out the bud. This does not alter the effectiveness of the strain for the purposes of review.
Arborside Compassion is strictly a medical dispensary and Liberty Provisioning is both adult-use and medical. Sadly, both dispensaries package their buds up in resealable plastic bags, which I detest. This is the quickest way to turn your nice, moist and pretty bud into dried out shake. Not that it matters in terms of the effect, but it’s a cheap way to package bud and not very consumer friendly either.
Liberty was the worst and they used to be the best until the original owner sold to a large multi-state chain. All their bud is now prepackaged in opaque black bags. That’s a problem and I probably won’t be going back to Liberty. Arborside Compassion on the other hand, even though the product is put in the same type of opaque plastic envelope, at least lets you choose the buds and then they package it. Even the budtenders in these locations know that it’s terrible way to package cannabis flower. OK, rant over. Let’s get back to the strains.
This is not a normal strain review. If you’re like me, you’ve got your favorite cultivars of cannabis. One of mine is Blue Dream. Genetically Blue Dream is a cross between Blueberry, which is an Indica (but not a landrace), and Haze, which is a Sativa. But genetics are only expressed when the plant is grown, harvested, dried, and cured. And there are lots of ways to grow I’ve been lucky enough to be able to find Blue Dream in 4 places fairly recently and have had 4 different experiences with them. In the wine business, Cabernet Sauvignon is grown all over the world. It’s not the same from one place to another. Heck, it’s not the same from one vineyard to another and they can be right next to each other. So is cannabis any different?
Where The Blue Dream Flower is From
Blue Dream buds came from Michigan, Colorado, New Mexico, and Illinois. Since there are only a few growers in each state who are licensed to grow weed, I decided to only use one dispensary offering of Blue Dream from each state. But since I like the end result a lot, I thought it would be interesting to see if and where the effect and power were the same from grower and grower and state to state.
One note here; I’m not going to say which one was from what state for several reasons; First, I lost track (gee, I wonder why); second, they were actually very similar in effect, but not the same across other factors — although they were supposed to be the same genetically; third, they looked very different from one another, which led me to think that maybe they weren’t the same genetically; and Fourth, they did have some similarities in taste but were different at the same time. I’m not going to score these different ones or even tell you which I thought was the best, but suffice it to say…they were all good. I did not pay attention to the purported percentage of THC because I’ve found that it makes no difference whatsoever. Maybe a toke or two less over time, but that’s about it.
For the sake of simplicity, I’ll call the image in the upper left of this page BD1, the Upper right is BD2, Lower Left is BD3 and the lower right is BD4.
Blue Dream: Appearance
The best flowers were BD4. They were well defined, had a great aroma, and were harvested from the middle to top of the plant. The flowers were very aromatic and very frosty with trichomes. BD2 was a bit disappointing because the buds were more like nugs than buds, not that nugs are a bad thing, but these were overly manicured and just didn’t have the same terpene aromas as BD4. So I’d rank them last. BD1 and BD3 had similar bud sizes and they were the two closest in both appearance and aroma.
Blue Dream: Aroma
As noted above, I really liked both the appearance and scent of BD4. It has a kind of berry aroma, not blueberries, but more like raspberries. At least that’s what I thought. All of the samples had a ‘bright’ aroma, perhaps with a little less of the berry aroma or more of a pronounced flowery aroma. All were free of any tainted smell, so no molds or anything like that at least in enough quantity that there were discernable scents of anything bad. One hopes. Blue Dream isn’t as identifiable as say a Bordeaux chateau or a Cabernet from Napa, but it doesn’t have a distinctive aroma that would instantly tell me it was Blue Dream. All that said before, it’s still has a wonderful nose for the strain.
Blue Dream: Flavor
The best flavor was from BD2. Really. I was surprised when I went back to my notes that I wrote about its flavor a lot and all in positive terms. So that was kind of surprising. The big buds had decent flavor, but nowhere near as good as BD2. BD3 and BD1 were both good, but not in the same league as BD3.
Blue Dream: Effect
They were all good. If I had to give an edge to any of the different plants, I’d give it to BD1. It just seemed to be a bit more defined, but the brain buzz from all of them was wonderful. As is usual for Blue Dream, these made me feel mentally sharp and relaxed at the same time. I’ve never found a big body buzz from Blue Dream and none of these were any different.
Blue Dream is a good plant. There’s a reason it’s legendary in California and that’s because it’s a really good strain. It’s uplifting and cerebral at the same time. Most strains are either uplifting or have a big body effect and while Blue Dream definitely falls on the brain side of things, its body feeling is gentle and doesn’t put you into a couch-lock mode.
Even if you’re a newbie, you’ll probably love Blue Dream.
[Canniseur: I can’t say any more about the year or the strains than the author. So I’m going to leave it at that. Here are 9 terrific strains, whether for 2020 or 2016, it doesn’t matter. What does matter that this has been a turducken year, but not as good as a turducken (are they really good?). It’s been a shit year, so far. Hopefully, things will begin to look up in about 3 weeks.]
This year may be a dumpster fire inside a trainwreck, but at least there’s more fresh, legal, tested fuego for your bubbler than ever before.
Amid a global pandemic and historic political division, legal cannabis has become a silver lining deemed essential by authorities. Weed continues to get stronger, more flavorful, more tested, and more legal in 2020 than before.
And the pace of cannabis development is accelerating in 2020, said Kevin Jodrey, cultivation director and owner of Wonderland Nursery in the Humboldt County town of Redway, CA—the epicenter of global ganja innovation.
Cookies & Cream sounds like a yummy snack…or meal. Once upon a time, I loved my Oreos and milk. Smooth, unctuous delicious. I used to be able to eat a whole bag of Oreos and drink a quart of milk, but no more. I don’t know if it’s wisdom or age. But this isn’t the weed, Oreos are real cookies. But Cookies & Cream, the cannabis strain, really is reminiscent in several ways of those old Oreo and milk sessions. Smooth, mellow, and satisfying. First a word about The Spot dispensary .
I’ve been to lots of dispensaries in many of the legal states. The Spot (there are 2 outlets and a grow operation in Pueblo and 1 in Trinidad) is among the very best I’ve ever visited. Their Pueblo West store is also a grow operation that was open for arranged tours before COVID changed our lives. They appear to grow their own and it’s good indeed. Companies who grow their own have a much greater incentive to produce good products. The budtender who helped me was quite knowledgable and told me that all their flower was grown hydroponically. I don’t know that but will take him at his word. Much of the flower in jars looked great although it’s hard to tell in a big jar of buds. They did not look like they’d been treated with PGRs (Plant Growth Regulators) which supposedly can lead to health problems. Back to our main event; the strain.
Cookies & Cream – Appearance
The buds, while small, were fairly loose with the original structure easy to determine. The leaves were easily discernable so the buds weren’t over-trimmed. There were lots of pale orange stigmas all over the buds and they were generally frosted with trichomes. Leaves can include trichomes, which have most of the good stuff. The buds were a pale to medium green with different parts of the plant displaying different shades. The only detraction was the size of the buds. All were very small. I’d like to see a selection of sizes. The plant itself should express its trichome and THC genetics about the same all over the plant. It would be nice if I could see where the bud came from on the plant; Was it high or low? How big were the original buds? The appearance score is based on the lack of size and differentiation.
Appearance Score – 16
Cookies & Cream – Aroma
There were many aromas in Cookies & Cream and they were wonderful. The initial dominant scent was sweet with undertones of creaminess, and a suave mix of berry, vanilla, and an earthy element. I like bud that possesses complex and distinct aromas. Too much cannabis in the marketplace just has a blah aroma. Not this. I just loved the scent and kept smelling it. The first notes were sweet and smooth.
Aroma Score – 19
Cookies & Cream – Taste
If I could write this review with just one word, it would be smooth. That’s it. smooth. The taste started out smooth and ended smooth. What was in-between. was a creamy texture in the mouth that is very difficult to describe. It actually seemed to taste of cookies and the cookie taste combined with the smoothness had this strain truly living up to its name. Loved it! The taste was very much like the aroma. No complaints there. There was a certain purity of the flavors that didn’t go unnoticed. Loved it.
This bud was very well cured. The ash was almost pure white. I don’t know if it would have been harsher or whatever if it had been cured poorly. But I’ll take this kind of cure any time at all.
Taste Score – 19
Cookies & Cream – Effect
As smooth as the taste was, the effect was just as smooth. As creamy as this was to my nose and as creamy as it was to my palate, the effect was smooth and creamy as well. I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered a strain where the aroma, flavor, and effect all meshed like this. It was a supremely mellow and smoothly energizing experience. Mellow…not a wacky brain buzz, but just smooth. And again for lack of a better word, smoothly energizing. No big burst of “clean up the entire house…NOW” kind of energy. But a good feeling like I was up to the task and had plenty of energy to do it. I personally found this effect to be wonderful. It was just as the budtender advertised. Terrific stuff.
Rarely does anything I get from a dispensary live up to the hype I frequently get from uninformed or uneducated budtenders. This one was just terrific.
Effect Score – 19
Cookies & Cream Strain Review Summary
Cookies & Cream is supposed to be a ‘hybrid’. I don’t know exactly what hybrid means anymore because some hybrids are energizing and some are couch-lock inducing. This strain is a real hybrid. It seems to take the best of what we call Sativa and the best of Indica and combines them into something really different and wonderful.
This is perhaps the best cannabis I’ve had since I purchased some Acapulco Gold at The Green Room in Telluride in June or July. Since nothing is probably an old landrace strain anymore, I really didn’t know what the Acapulco Gold was…other than excellent. But this is about Cookies & Cream.
If you find yourself driving on Interstate 25 in Colorado passing through Pueblo, get off at exit 101 (U.S. 50) and make a left at the first light to the west of the highway and it’s right there next to the 7-11 on the left.
This is not an ordinary strain review. If you’ve read my reviews, you’ll know I’m a fan of whole flower consumption. I like flower because it’s holistic. The whole plant might be better than the parts like trichomes, THC, CBD or any other partial use of the plant. I don’t consume vape cartridgess. I have no idea where what they contain comes from, how the ‘oil’ was extracted, and what additives there might be in them. So why am I reviewing a “concentrate”? Lazercat is why. And this won’t look like one of our regular reviews. No 4-20s score here.
What is Lazercat?
Lazercat Cannabis is a small company located near Breckenridge, Colorado that specializes in water process concentrates. They do seem to sell flower, but haven’t seen it in any dispensary, although one said they’d had some the week before. There are almost no other companies in any legal state who only make water process live resin products. Nearly all concentrates are made with solvents like alcohol or butane or CO2. Why would I want to ingest any of that?
Why Water Process Is Important
I never know how most concentrates are made. I have come to find over the years that most concentrates are pretty mysterious. They can be made any way that’s possible to extract the THC from the plant. Hopefully, terpenes come along, but terpenes (all the tasty parts of cannabis) are notably fragile. They are usually destroyed at temperatures above 150F. One of Lazercat’s differences is their use of very cold water to separate the trichomes, which contain all of the terpenes and THC type chemistry of the plant. A cold process keeps the terpenes smelling and tasting the way the plant made them. It also doesn’t destroy any of the THC type chemicals. The trichomes are the frosty parts of a bud. The more frost, the more trichomes, but they’re then a bunch of frosty bits on a flower.
This product is named “Premium Live Rosin” and the strains in this particular iteration are Cheese Dog + GMO. Lazercat grows many strains and 5 products. These are both very good strains if somewhat more difficult to grow. That’s another thing about Lazercat. They don’t seem to be afraid of growing difficult strains. And the difficult to grow strains are usually the best. It’s kind of hard to imagine when cannabis came from Mexico or farther south and would just be allowed to grow in mostly untended fields, harvested, destemmed, and dried.
Premium live rosin is made from a whole plant that has its trichomes separated from the rest of the plant, is water-washed, then sifted through a small (90 micron) sieve. The resulting pile of goodness is then lightly pressed (I think) into this wonderful-looking pale gold glob of pretty hard material. The picture here shows how pretty it is. One note: when consuming this kind of product, I believe it’s meant to be vaped. I don’t vape, but rather put it on top of a bowl of flower. The whole idea of setting up a rig is just too much to deal with if I’m going to enjoy the effect.
Appearance – Lazercat Silver Fume
The usual categories of appearance don’t hold for this product. But it is a pretty pale yellow color almost like a pale lemon. As I looked at the product, I thought about how I would mix that color on my palate and what I’d use. I came up with using a touch of cadmium yellow mixed with Naples yellow (you’ll have to look up a color chart to see what I mean) and some titanium of white. It was a very pretty color, but it was really a lump of beautiful concentrated essence of cannabis.
Aroma – Lazercat Silver Fume
The aroma is a bit harder to describe then a cannabis flower aroma. It’s the same, but different. A little lighter. Perhaps more concentrated and not as complex, but it’s still nice. Flowers, but not just any flowers, are what it reminds me of every time I smell it, which is every time I open the jar.
Taste – Lazercat Silver Fume
The taste is hard to describe. It’s a lot like the effect (see below). It was very ethereal. It tasted almost exactly as it smelled. I cannot explain it any other way. The flavor was very light but concentrated. It filled my mouth with flavors of lemon, perhaps honeysuckle and flavors I don’t usually associate with cannabis flower of any type. It was extremely pleasant. It wasn’t hash-like and it was very present. Loved it!
Effect – Lazercat Silver Fume
The effect continued with the theme of ethereal. It was VERY present. It was intense, but at the same time it was vety intense in a wonderful way. It felt as it gave me great powers of concentration at the same time as it put my head in the clouds. This product just felt like pure cannabis pleasure. I could go on (and on), but I cannot write about how pleasant it is. I liked it. A lot. I couldn’t consume it all the time though. If there was one thing that is negative about the effect, it’s how it’s not ’rounded’ in the same way that the effect from good flower is. There’s a certain completeness about the effect of flower, but that’s not to denigrate the quality. It’s just different.
Conclusion – Lazercat Silver Fume
If you’re in Colorado, try to find this product. It’s worth the few extra dollars over some other products in the market that state. Their website has locations of where the product has been purchased, but it’s not very up to date nor are the dispensaries that up to date either with what’s there. I called one in Trinidad that I like a lot, but when I tried to order a specific product I liked, they didn’t have it. I wish there was a way to ‘reserve’ the product I want, but there’s not.
If I was going to give this a score, I’d give it a 96, which is very high (as was I), but I haven’t developed the correct vocabulary to properly explain it. So the score will have to remain buried in this review and I’ll leave it at that.
[Canniseur: For a wine crazy like me, this is terrific. I love wine and all its different flavors, all the places it comes from, all the different things it can be. Why should cannabis be any different? I can’t come up with a reason.]
Grape is one of the best cannabis flavors out there. It’s so distinct, and most of the time, those grape-flavored strains are pretty common in terpene profile, cannabinoid profile, and most of the time, those grape-flavored strains are pretty common in terpene profile, cannabinoid profile, and effects. When you put your nose to a jar of something grapey, you’re pretty safe in assuming it’ll be something delicious, potent, and relaxing.
Why Do Strains Smell Like Grapes?
Cannabis flowers can produce so many aromas and flavors, all of which come down to terpene profiles. Terpenes are the aromatic oils in the cannabis plants responsible for their smell and taste. Terps are also the stinky reason that herbivores skip over cannabis plants.
The combination of terpenes in cannabis plants influence many parts of the strain-specific experience, but for all intents and purposes, let’s just focus on flavor.
Here are 5 cannabis strains that smell and taste like grapes.
Granddaddy Purple is the OG of all OGs when it comes to grape strains. It’s the sole reason we all obsess over purple buds and expect them to be powerfully sedating.
GDP is a cross of Big Bud and Purple Urkle. It has bulbous purple buds, thick crystally trichomes, and a sweet grapey and gassy flavor that will blow your taste buds away. Though a hybrid of other purple strains, this early-2000s creation by Ken Estes is still the original purple strain that paved the way for today’s Zkittlez and Forbidden Fruit obsessions.
Mendocino Purps hails from the lands of Mendocino, a county in California that’s given us so much great cannabis over the years. What is Mendo Purps? Who knows, honestly.
The original Mendo Purps is a clone-only strain, but around 2004 BC Bud Depot created a seed version called The Purps. It also goes by Mendocino Purple, Mendo Purple, and pretty much any variation of that. Mendo Purps has a complex grapey, earthy, and hashy flavor, and the effects will lock you to your seat for hours. Need a sleepy strain? This one. Like to dab? This one.
Grape Ape is my singular favorite grape cannabis strain, not to be confused with my favorite purple cannabis strain, Forbidden Fruit.
It crosses Mendo Purps with a Skunk and an Afghani strain. First of all, that combo is just stupid. Purple AND Skunk?! When it comes to smell and look, you already know that’s going to be a beautiful flower with a strong aroma. But then you toss in Afghani too, and you know those effects are going to PUNCH. And that’s what you get from Grape Ape, a punch that hits your body like the Kool-Aid man hits a living room wall.
Grape Ape is heavily relaxing. From personal experience, I wouldn’t necessarily call it a sleepy strain. It doesn’t make you feel so overpowered with THC that some shuteye is your only solution. Instead, Grape Ape makes you feel so damn chill that your body will feel like a lazy pile of potatoes.
Purple Punch is a new school purple strain by way of Granddaddy Purple and Larry OG. Purple Punch is a sweet lil’ thang. Think of a grape hard candy that melts up then drips down like grape syrup. Okay, now you know how you’re currently imagining that syrup would taste? That’s Purple Punch, the Juicy Drop Pop of cannabis strains.
Purple Punch flower is absolutely coated with white trichomes stacked on light green and dark purple buds. It is a GREAT strain for making concentrates. The effects are usually powerfully relaxing, make sure to clear your schedule before consuming this THC powerhouse.
You probably came into this list thinking “Where’s Bubba Kush?” It’s here, just in a newer form that I’ve recently come across in Washington. Grape Bubba is a cross of Purple Urkle and Bubba Kush. In a way, it’s sort of like a new-age attempt at Granddaddy Purple.
Grape Bubba is earthy, it’s sweet, it’s grapey, and boy oh boy is it sticky. It’s one of the more refreshing strains I’ve come across in a minute, and that high? *Chef’s kiss*
Grape Bubba’s high is just like Bubba Kush. In that I mean, Bubba Kush, by sheer name, terpene profile, and overall reputation, is expected to be this super-duper sleepy purple strain that you can only smoke while in bed because that’s how hard it’ll hit you. But in actuality, Bubba Kush tends to be a pretty even-keel manageable high. Sure, it definitely leans more toward the relaxing side of the effects spectrum, but it isn’t necessarily a day-ender.
[Canniseur: I’m a hiker. I love to hike. Up mountains. Down mountains. I live part-time in a place that has lots of trails and mountains to hike on. Hiking high can be a great pleasure. Here are some strains that make that hike you’re taking even better. Go for it! Hike.]
Is it just me, or does the time feel exceedingly right to disappear into the woods for a few hours and get astronomically high?
The howling winds of uncertainty have all but blown 2020 to smithereens. It’s enough to make a person need reminding of how fleshy and insignificant their timelines are when compared to an endless forest or a mid-city wetland. Which is to say, losing one’s self in nature is a singular form of self-care. And since we are unequivocally in the era of self-care, let’s take a few deep breaths, strap on our fanny packs and face masks, and get hiking with these eight exhilarating and mollifying strains.
Remember, your endocannabinoid system is like your fingerprint, totally unique to you. Keep in mind that the effects described below may not line up across the board, and each person’s experience is theirs alone.
Golden Pineapple is gently energetic and relaxing at lower doses, making it an agreeable complement to a low-impact, meditative stroll. At higher doses, it becomes psychotropic and effervescent, which is an exceptional way to evolve a meditative stroll into an intense birdwatching session.
Golden Pineapple’s parents are Golden Goat and Pineapple Kush, so expect a funky fruit profile with savory herbal undertones and dense, sugar-dusted flowers. Either low-dose or high, the strain is a lovely accompaniment to both the outdoors and mild physical activity.
Clementine has a reputation for being borderline frenetic before coming into focus. Those two disparate effects come together exquisitely while navigating the wild outdoors — or your closest city park, whatever works.
Parented by classic sativa strains, Lemon Skunk and Tangie, Clementine takes after Lemon Skunk in terms of flavor profile and rubbery energy, but the distilled head high is boldly reminiscent of Tangie. Tangie flowers sparkle with fiery stigmas and sugary trichomes, and the strain is also a popular extract that makes for a mouthwatering vape.
Blueberry Headband is an animated strain that promises to put a pep in your step while being social. On a family hike around your closest Audubon Society (or commensurate nature park), it can potentially keep you fully engaged with both family and nature without ever stepping into giggle-fit territory.
The inherent hurdle in enjoying Blueberry Headband is in knowing that the name has been attached to a number of phenotypes. For our purposes, we refer to the Emerald Triangle Seeds variation, bred from a cross of 76 Blueberry, Emerald OG Kush, Cali Sour D, and Pre-98 Bubba Kush. The result is a hybrid that expertly straddles the line between euphoria and calm sociability without ever falling too far into either lane.
Since the effects of strains tend to rely on the individual, reports vary on the effects of White Fire OG. For some, it’s the quintessential wake and bake, for others, it’s immediate couchlock. White Fire OG is borne of The White and Fire OG, both indica bent hybrids with caryophyllene and limonene forward terpene profiles. White Fire OG defies both its parents by (most often) boasting a bright and buoyant high.
If your chemistry allows it to hit with enthusiasm, opt for a hike with a moderate skill level. This strain has the potential to keep your body receptive and elastic while your mind wanders, which is kind of what we’re going for here.
Sour Tangie’s uncomplicated lineage from East Coast Sour Diesel and Tangie, the child strain is every bit as lively as one would expect, coming from two distinctly upbeat cultivars. What makes Sour Tangie singular is the burst of creative energy that accompanies its exuberant body high.
A trail with a suggestion of moderate skill level that might find you leapfrogging over fallen trees and encountering the occasional rogue blackberry thorn will bring out the best in your Sour Tangie experience.
Quantum Kush is already popular with enthusiasts of getting high and walking in the woods, respectively. It’s a high THC varietal parented by Sweet Irish Kush and Timewreck, with a smothering relaxation effect that both soothes and elevates..
Any mild to moderate hike will activate the singular euphoria of Quantum Kush; a breezy waterfront or sunbleached beach where hikers can strip down on a hot day will most likely result in a “best day ever, best weed ever” type situation — and we could all use one of those every now and again.
The most accurately named strain on this list is Space Candy. The charmed child of Space Queen and Cotton Candy is both candy-sweet and extra spacey. This strain exists in the complex intersection of euphoria and delirium, making more moderate to difficult conditions — think narrow pathways and loose scrabble — feel like a Bear Grylls fantasy.
Space Candy’s terpene profile is citrus dominant, but the underlying earthy notes add a sophisticated funk. Users should expect resiny buds flecked with red and purple, and a confectionary floral aroma that blooms into citrus at the exhale.
Hiking challenges are why Bruce Banner #3 may potentially be your perfect hiking strain. Maintaining focus, eschewing stress, and staying bouncy and energetic during vigorous physical activity and elevation gain are all hallmarks of this Bruce Banner phenotype.
Bruce Banner’s storied lineage began in the labs of Los Angeles-based Dark Horse Genetics, where OG Kush and Strawberry Diesel cultivars were bred to produce five phenotypes. Numbers 2 and 4 were subsequently abandoned, while 1, 3, and 5 were selected for their high potency. Of those remaining phenotypes, #3 remains the most popular and widely available of the Bruce Banner strains. Expect a sharply herbal flavor profile, a tart, pungent mouthfeel, and a swooning onset that develops into a calm and creative euphoria.